Kar naenkrat mi je postalo jasno (no, vsaj toliko kot je ubogemu najstniku dopuščeno), da so trenutki, ko ne najdeš izhoda in so trenutki, ko se ti zdi, da gre vse narobe in so trenutki polni veselja in smeha. Za to je vredno živeti in ne obupati. Vredno je živeti za naključja, kot je srečanje dveh francoskih kitaristov ob blejskem jezeru na kresno noč, ki tebi in tvojim prijateljem ustvarita topel zasebni koncert, kar tako, na Bledu, ob treh zjutraj. :) Treba je živeti za trenutke, ko odkriješ svojo novo najljubšo pesem, ko te nekdo iskreno nasmeje, ko te prijatelj objame.
Prisežem, na tem mestu, da bom poskušala videti te stvari, ko me bo naslednjič pograbil obup. Naj ostanejo v moji glavi ti sladkorčki za grenke čase. Navsezadnje nas hrepenenje po nečem boljšem žene naprej. Včasih je le-to tako zelo blizu, da je že kar smešno, da ga ne vidimo, ampak na tem svetu se vse življenje učimo. Prijatelj mi je nekoč rekel, da napake pač moramo ponavljati, da smo res sigurni, da je to narobe in da se zaradi tega marsikdaj opečemo. Kot majhni otroci :), samo da se oni preveč ne sekirajo zaradi tega.
Svet je lep. Vsakič znova odkrivam, kako neverjetno veliko mi pomeni, da sem, da obstajam istočasno, kot vsi ti ljudje, ki jih lahko kličem prijatelji in družina. Pa tudi tisti znanci, s katerimi pokramljam le sem ter tja mi dajo veliko. Morda celo več, ker od njih ne pričakujem pozdrava ali nasmeha ali kratkega pogovora.
Ah, ta kombinacija grenko-sladkega mi postaja čedalje bolj všeč!
Suddenly everything became clear (well, as far as things can get clear for a teenager). It became clear that there are moments, when you cannot find the exit, and there are moments when you feel that everything is going wrong, and there are also moments full of joy and laughter. It's worth living for that, and we mustn't give up. It's worth living for coincidences, like the one when I met two french guitar players by the Bled lake on Midsummer night, who make a beautiful night for you and your friends, just like that in the middle of Bled at 3 a.m. :) You have to live for the moments, when you discover a new faourite song, when someone makes you smile, when a friend hugs you.
I swear, right now, that I will try to see those things, whenever I'll feel down. Those things must stay inside my head, those little sugars for bitter days. After all, it's that desire of better life that keeps us moving on. This thing is often so close that it's rather absurd that we don't see it, but we are learning all the time in this life. A friend told me once, that we repeat the same mistakes over and over again, to make sure that that is really wrong. Like little children :). The only difference between us and kids is, that they don't care about that as much as we do.
The world is beautifull. I constatly discover how amazing it is to excist right now, so that I am surrounded by all those wonderful people, who I can call friends and family. And even those acquaintances, to whom I speak only once in a while, are giving me a lot of strength. Maybe even more, since I don't expect from them to say hi to me or anything.
Ah, this combination of bitter and sweet is becoming more and more likable :).
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