Poletje naj bi bil čas "možganov na off" in brezskrbnih trenutkov na plaži in na soncu ali pa v hladni senci. Ker pa me še vedno preganja neuspeh na sprejemcih in negotovost glede študija, o brezskrbnosti težko govorim. Na srečo pa je to za zdaj edina skrb in jo odrivam na stran, da naredim prostor pomembnejšim stvarem, kot je umik v naravo v poletnih večerih ali pa taborjenje ob Kolpi, druženje z bližnjimi in načrtovanje poletnih potepanj v Španijo in na Balkan. Čaka me še eno top(lo) poletje in nima smisla zapravljati časa za nepoletne stvari :).
Summer supposed to be a time, when you can turn your brains off on the beach, the sun or in the cold shade. But beacuse I failed my exams for the Academy, and I am quite uncertained about colegge, I can't say that I am careless. But for now that is the only reason to be worried and I am pushing it away, so that I make room for more important things, like going for a walk in nature in the evening or camping near the river, hanging out with my dear ones and planing trips to Spain, Portugal and Balkan. Summer awaits and there's no point wasting it for unsummerish things :).
Življenje pač ne bi bilo življenje, če se ne bi kdaj pa kdaj kje kaj zalomilo ali pa bi skrenilo iz začrtane poti. Mogoče ti da to večji zagon, ali pa enostavno ne veš, zakaj se ravno tebi zalomi. Možgani se kar naenkrat razdelijo na dva dela; ena polovica ti govori, da te bo pot že pripeljala do tja, kjer boš srečen, da s teboj ni nič narobe in da moraš vztrajati pri tem, kar ti je ljubo, druga polovica pa se stalno oglaša, da je res smešno, da si sploh pomislil, da ti bo uspelo, da spodbuda drugih sploh ni bila spodbuda, ampak majhna, sladka laž, ki ti je vlila lažno upanje.
Tako. Prepir v moji glavi se polega, verjetno vas zanima zaradi česa se je sploh sprožil. Recimo, da je povezano s študijem, recimo, da s sprejemnimi izpiti in recimo, da mi je to močno udarilo na letos pridobljeno samozavest. Ampak brez skrbi, se mi zdi, da ostanek mojega majhnega ega ne bo takoj popustil.
Life wouldn't be life, if from time to time, something wouldn't go according our plan. Sometimes this gives you strenght, but other times you simply don't know why id that happening to you. Brains suddenly decide to start a war between two parts of them. One part is telling you that you will get to your happiness somehow, that you shouldn't give up. The other one, however, is telling you that it's funny that you even dared to try, and that support of others wasn't a true support but just a big white lie.
The fight in my head is calming down, but another one will surely start in no time. Let's say that is connected with colegge, let's say that is connected with exams for the Academy of fine arts and let's say that my failure damaged my confidence that I've been collecting for the past year. But, don't worry, I think the small piece of my ego that still remains won't give up so easily.
Danes sem končala še zadnje sprejemne izpite in sicer na Akademiji za likovno umetnost in oblikovanje, smer slikarstvo. Občutki so mešani, nadaljni potek pa ni več odvisen od mene.
Ampak za trenutek bom odmislila vse te čudno resne zadeve povezane s sprejemnimi izpiti in maturo. Zdaj me čaka počitnikarsko vzdušje, ki ne bo tako lenobno, kot včasih mislimo, da poletje bo, kar pa ne pomeni, da kakšnega dneva ne bom preživela povsem brezdelno ali pa vsaj kakšne urice.
Today I finished the last part of my exams for Academy of Fine arts. My feelings are mixed, but I gave the best I could so the further desicion it's out of my hands.
But for the moment I will forget about everything, I will not think about these serious things connected with those exams. Holidays are waiting for me, that will be full of adventures and won't be boring at all.
Lep dan je, tak, počitnikarski. Primeren za malo oddiha in poslušanje dobre glasbe.
It's a beautiful day. Holiday like. It would be nice to relax a bit and listen to some good music.
